I sincerely believe the #1 cause of under-achievement and lack of success with women is not approaching or interacting with women enough.
Here are 3 excuses that we all have at least once in our lives which is used for not approaching:
“I don’t know what to say”
“It was the wrong context” (or logistic excuse: she was seated, she was on the phone, a friend came just before I approached, I don’t have the time etc…)
But, I can say for sure that it has NOTHING to do with any of these.
You see, the reason as to why you’re not approaching is simply that you don’t have any INTEGRITY. Yes, no integrity, zero, nada.
I can hear you saying: “But DRH, I’m an honest and moral person and by the way what does it have to do anyway with pick-ups?”
Everything, my friend.
Let me explain.
I’m not talking about integrity as being honest, I’m talking about keeping your word. Simply said: doing what you say you will do when you say you’ll do it. Most people are conditioned to only keep their words when they’re paid to do so or if there’s a risk for not doing it.
Corporations have more powers than countries because they’re big machines that make people keep their words and do what they’re supposed to do, when they’re supposed to.
But, outside of work or school, what makes you keep your word?
You read a post on Sunday night about a guy who met his new girlfriend after approaching her in the subway.
You get excited, you know that it’s possible, this is what you want, you know you deserve it like anybody else and you say to yourself: “Tomorrow I’m approaching the next hot girl I meet in the tube!”
It’s Monday morning, you’re on the platform waiting for your train to go to work and there is this stunning blonde. You find her attractive. You’re a great person with a good heart and you know that you just want her even though she’s a stranger.
But then, you realize that she looks “upset”, like “she doesn’t want to be approached” and you have to be at work at 10 a.m. and you don’t want “to take the risk to be late” thinking after all “she will be there tomorrow”.
So, you don’t approach her and you’re at your desk at 9:30 a.m. sharp.
You have kept your word to your boss but you haven’t kept your word to yourself. And my friend, that is the only reason you’re not at the level of freedom, enjoyment and power with women that you know you deserve to be in.
When you start keeping your word with yourself and constantly do what you say you will do when you say you’ll do it, magical things will start to happen.
Every frustration that I have had or still have in my life is down to one thing and one thing only: not keeping my word by not doing what I know in my heart I should do. Oppositely, every success and enjoyment is the result of having absolute integrity and keeping your word.
Approaching is not about overcoming fear, having the right opener or doing things right. It’s being true to yourself and to what you want. If you want her, then keep your word and at least give yourself the opportunity to get her. She certainly can reject you, but all that matters is that you keep your word by approaching.
INTEGRITY is the bottom line.