One of the basic realities of life is that no guy—no matter how famous, good-looking, or knowledgeable about game—has a 100-percent success rate. Everyone gets rejected sooner or later. Even Johnny Depp has millions of girls who wouldn’t bang him. The frustrating part of the rejection reality isn’t that it exists, is that it can happen anywhere in the process, at any time. A girl can go cold seemingly out of the blue. One of the most common places where it happens is after getting a girl’s phone number.
We’ve all been there. You met a girl out, and you did everything “right”: maybe you rubbed your boner against her for half-an-hour to some shitty music; you had her laughing at all your well-honed stories; maybe you even made out with her in the corner. You correctly tried to bounce from the bar with her, but she didn’t “want to leave her friends.” But she practically threw her number at you and you figured you had this one on lock-down. Then, after following the classic text conventions, you get nothing. There are a million ways this scenario plays out, but the theme is the same: guy has number, things look good, and the girl goes dark.
To fully comprehend this situation, you have to understand what you’re up against. Girls nowadays give out their numbers like candy. There are multiple reasons for this. For one, it’s the path of least resistance. Think about it: the quickest way to get a guy off your case is to give him your number, comfortably extricate yourself from the situation, and then just ignore his lobs. Girls avoid confrontation and awkwardness at all costs. But that only explains a situation where they don’t like the guy. What about when she showed clear signs of attraction?
We’re living in a world of endless distractions. The deadly combination of Facebook, ever-shrinking attention-spans, and the inherently flakey nature of young girls (especially American ones) conspire to create a bad situation. Cute girls have unlimited options. In other words, there’s a good chance you weren’t the only guy who rubbed your boner against her that weekend. What’s more, girls are forgetful. She could have fantasized about being impregnated by you the night she met you, but within an hour she forgot about that because she got a text from some other guy. This is a double-edged sword that can work to your advantage as much as it can hurt you, as we shall see.
So what do you do when a girl doesn’t reply to your text? Well first, let’s cover what you shouldn’t do. First off, resist the temptation of chasing down your text with a follow-up because you think, “she obviously didn’t get it.” She got it. Today’s girl is glued to her phone 24/7, and she’s reading and replying to texts constantly. The odds that the ether swallowed up your text before it got to her iPhone 9 are infinitesimal. Get that out of your head. Secondly, don’t go to the other extreme and do what a lot of experienced players mistakenly do: immediately delete her number and write her off. Remember: effectively texting girls requires a Zen-like patience that is counter-intuitive to our hunting nature. Just chill.
A certain percentage of the time just forgetting about your text is enough. I’ve had girls reply to me, literally, days later. We end up making plans, and I end up banging them in the long run. But a lot of the time that doesn’t happen. That’s where the re-start text comes in.
The restart text is basically simple text volley that aims at resurrecting a conversation that’s gone cold. It can work at any stage in your interaction with a girl: when all you have is the phone number; when you’ve gone out once but things fizzled; and even after you’ve banged her and lost touch with her because you moved on voluntarily. The important precursor is that you fully allow the conversation to actually go cold. I rarely send a restart text sooner than 10 days than my last communication. The goal of the restart text, simply told, is to re-spark the intrigue the girl presumably felt for you at some point. That’s all. It’s not a logical appeal to re-contact you because “you thought you had a good time.” This is where a girl’s forgetfulness works to your advantage. By the time you come around a second time, she’s likely forgotten about some stupid thing you said that made her stop contacting you in the first place, or about the other guy who temporarily knocked you out of the first-place position. Often it’s just as simple as catching a girl when she’s more amenable to having sex.
Two Different Types of Restart Texts
The restart text is an art that you have to customize to your own style and to each situation, but these are some basic techniques to get you started. Create your own text following these approaches.
1. The Mistaken Identity. This is probably the oldest, and most transparent, approach. Girls, especially the smarter ones, can sometimes see right through this one—even though that doesn’t mean it won’t work. After all, it’s all about plausible deniability. The important part is to make it clear that it wasn’t intended for her. It’s also nice to embed some juicy bait that she just won’t be able to resist.
Example: “sorry I’m running late, homie. got into argument with andy’s ugly sister. u were right about her!”
2. The Non Sequitur. This is basically a random, brief particle that will sufficiently stir a girl’s nosy instinct into inquiring further. Don’t make it creepy or gratuitously weird. The key is to wedge yourself into that nosy part of a girl’s brain that makes eavesdropping, celebrity gossip, and “mysterious guy” in the room irresistible to her.
Example: “it was $20.”
If she responds, you should follow that up with something like “oops, wrong person.”, adding a juicy tid-bit to have her respond a second time, like “wait, who’s this?” Once you re-activate the conversation, don’t make the mistake of bringing up your prior interaction or immediately revealing your identity or intentions (to plan a date). Also, don’t text endlessly with her. Dangle the carrot for a while—leaving gaps of different lengths between texts—get her interested, and plan to “meet up.” Keep it simple.
A lot of the time, the restart text won’t work. But it should definitely be part of your arsenal. You’ll be delightfully surprised when you re-capture a seemingly lost prospect with this simple, nearly effortless, technique.