Wedding Crashing 101

You must watch the 2005 hit comedy Wedding Crashers (pictured). It’s funny, boosts some great performances and might even change your life.

Whoever watched the film, which is mainly about two guys who ‘crash’ wedding parties to drink and meet girls, will surely have thought ‘I have to do it once I my life.’ So did I, and so did one of my best friends, and one good day we went for it.

We suited up, checked the paper for the hottest wedding of the weekend and there we went. It was awesome, ridiculous and one experience I’ll never forget.

Why Crash Weddings Anyway?

The movie doesn’t exaggerate: wedding parties are awesome. They are crazy and filled with gorgeous women (and men, girls), all elegantly dressed. Alcohol flows, food is fantastic and most attendees are horny, leading to one of the best situations to pick up in the world.

It’s plain fun, and it usually turns into nights hard to forget. While the movie exaggerates some aspects, the whole picture is quite accurate.

Once we decided to crash, we realized that we would need to work on a few key aspects.

We Had to Look Amazing

We were both 20, and though we were bigger and more mature-looking that the normal 20 year old, we still looked young. We took out our best suit, our best ties and shiniest shoes, so as if it came to the appearance, we would be fine.

This is a no-brainer. If you are well dressed, it will give you more credibility in the front door and during the party. Many people never saw the movie and would still think it would be ridiculous for people to, all dressed up, crash to a wedding.

And, of course, the nicer you look, the more girls (or boys) you’ll be likely to meet.

A Compelling Story & Getting In

Unless you know or bribe the guys at the entrance, you’ll need to tell them a really good story to let you in. If you crash, you won’t be on the guest list, and there must be a reason for that ‘mistake’ you should think about.

We thought up different strategies to go around this. The first was to be amazed and completely indignated that we were not in the guest list. We spent at least a complete minute discussing what could have happened, and not with the guards, but among ourselves. That raises credibility, as we both start coming up with possible reasons for the incident.

Our goal is to make the guys show us the guest list, and give us the chance to finger-point where our names are. We make fake phone calls and set the entire situation up, all while we scan the list and choose who we will be.

For that purpose, we always use fake names – usually a more common one as would be John or Bob in English. As for the surname, we say one weird first, one of those hard to spell Eastern European ones, all with the goal of confusing these guys. Then, as the situation unfolds, we discuss whether we were signed up with our ‘mother’s surname’, as the other one is too hard to spell.

If they check our IDs we would be doomed. Thankfully, however, they never did. And if, we would never show it and say we left it in the car, at home or something like that.

The First Lessons

However, our first crash didn’t go smooth as planned. Soon after our successful incursion, once we were drinking our whiskies in the bar, a number of people came up and started questioning our identities and so on. We just left before things got messy – but heads up, realizing all the mistakes we had made and celebrating that we had made it in.

These were the top lessons:

Go to a Big Wedding

Our sin was to crash a small wedding. The place was great and the people chic, but it was small. There were less than a hundred people and that made us immediately stand out. In smaller weddings, people know each other better and any outsider will immediately look suspicious.

On the other hand, the more people there are, the easier it will be to meld into the crow and do the work. It’s a non-brainer too. After all, in bigger weddings you’ll usually have more everything – more girls (and boys), more drinks, etc. It’s always a better choice.

Keep a Low Profile

For the same reason you must keep a low profile. I like to make noise and stand out. So does my friend, and that’s what Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn do in the movie: they are the stars of the party. In reality, however, it’s not the best path to take. At least it wasn’t for us.

The reasons are obvious: you don’t want to stand out. Even if the wedding is big, if you cut the wedding cake or make a solo dance, people might start asking ‘who is that’. It’s not a safe path, at least not until the party is dying off.

Go to the Church Ceremony

It’s better to visit Church before heading to the party. Church is where the flirting starts. You won’t dance, you won’t party and you might not even speak – but there will be plenty of seductive eye contact.

One of the best details of Wedding Crashers is when Owen Wilson goes as far as to fake a cry during the ceremony. No matter how cheesy you might think that is, it really works.

But it’s not all about sex. If other people, old and young, see you at Church you’ll have a better possibility of fitting at the party. People won’t ask about you during the party – they’ll remember that you were at Church. We went as far as to personally kiss and congratulate the bride and groom during the Church ceremonies – a big win for what was to come later.

If you really want to get into one special wedding, then you must go to Church first. It will raise your stakes considerably.

Your Story, the Crasher Rules and the Last Advice

  • Be free to invent whatever story you want. There’s, however, one point you always need to make: you are not from town. Usually an obscure, remote place is the best option.
  • Teams of two are best: no more, no less. Don’t go alone – if things get nasty, you’ll need a backup. More than two is also not good – it might gather you too much attention and get you into trouble.
  • Check the Wedding Crashing Rules, straight from the movie, as an inspiration. There are a few gems in that list.
  • Take conversations where you want them to go. Avoid family, your connections with the bride and groom and move the chat to where you want it.
  • You are at the party to have lots of fun. The moment you put the grim face, the insecure look, etc it’s all over.
  • It’s never bad to run away. When things get nasty, escape.

You’ll have the time of your life when crashing a wedding. Do it for fun, food, drinks, sex and for the amazing anecdote you’ll have for the rest of your life.

Last – never give up. As I wrote above, we were kicked out of our very first wedding. Instead of going to mourn and cry, we got better at this and prepared to rock another party. Persist until you win!