So I am driving home this past weekend with a female friend who I’m very close with. She says to me, “You think too much about this stuff. I don’t think – I just flow and everything works out for me.” Now mind you, she is straight, but this girl has got the most solid game I’ve ever seen in picking up chicks, so I enjoy talking to her about the subject.
And on the one hand she’s right. George Clooney and Brad Pitt don’t have to think about game. The guy who’s been great with women all his life… he doesn’t have to think about game.
Well guess what? I don’t have to think about playing guitar… But if I told someone who’s never played to just “not think” and play it, they would not be able to play like me.
We live in a society that attributes the “finished-product” to the person themselves. We ignore the training, experiences, reinforcement and beliefs around the “finished product” that has made the “not-thinking” possible. For guys that have been successful with women their whole lives, their “training” was through having good role-models, life experiences, social circles, etc. But there was definitely reinforcement…
In learning pick up skills / seduction, we deliberately reinforce ourselves and create the circumstances to eventually bring us to the place of not-thinking. There are many elements that are natural to me now and there are others that I need to be conscious to practice them.
There will be a day where I will forget all of the practicing I did and everything will flow. Unconscious competence.
But for now, I’m going to keep playing my scales…