One of the most liberating moments in developing skills with women (and my own personal development) was when I discovered the power of unreactivity.
Unreactivity (or non-reactivity) is when you choose to stop reacting to shit that happens.
It’s not that you don’t notice what’s happening. It’s not that you shut off your emotions.
It’s just simply that you choose not to be affected by it.
Take a moment and think about that. Most people don’t step back from their lives and acknowledge they have that choice.
They lead a life of chasing “good feelings and circumstances” and avoiding “bad feelings and circumstances” and all the meanwhile they could just choose to stop depending on circumstances to “give you” the state.
I am here to tell you that you have the power to not react to things. You can give yourself that permission and freedom.
In fact, you squelch all of your ability to effectively influence people when you are reactive.
The places in your life where you react are the places where you are manipulated by your environment, external circumstances or other people.
When you react to others, you are a puppet to your environment or “scary internal thoughts”. Your mind will toy with you the way a cat toys with a mouse.
On the other hand, when you choose to stop reacting, you gain tremendous power to influence. You are no longer a dog chasing after the mail truck and barking at its tires.
More discussion to come.