I already made clear what I think about long distance relationships: they should be avoided. Still, there are many of you who might be willing, despite all these hardships, to try out a bit of long distance love. It’s not that it is impossible, it’s just much more tricky and prone to conflict than you might think.
The Holy Grail of Long Distance Relationships
If there are chances of surviving long distance, relationships of love are the ones which have the highest odds. Relationships of insecurity will, in an overwhelming majority, fail. It makes sense: if your couple was built out of the desire of not being alone, what will happen to it if you are, in practice, alone again?
After all, long distance will make that happen. There will be nothing to stick you two together if what you built your relationship out of is not there. The couple will complain, fight, discuss and cheat on each other. I have seen it multiple times: it will happen. As most relationships are like these, most will fail.
The other ones, though, have better chances of making it through. Here I’ll explain you my (controversial, perhaps) way of dealing with LDR.
Surviving the Long Distance
You will always have to remember that a long distance relationship is not normal. So don’t treat it as such. You won’t be able to live as if you two were physically together. It’s impossible. You will have to adapt to something new and work on living the life that will make both of you happier.
In my case this was loosening the relationship up. Keeping the love intact, but giving each other much more independence in every sense. Going out more, avoiding fixed date and time for Skyping and even having a romance with someone else. As crazy and outrageous this could sound, it works.
It works if there is real trust between the partners. If you are sure about your love and about what you left inside the other, it will work out. No stranger will be able to match the unique experiences, inspiration and real love you have. You will loosen up superficially, but not with what really matters.
I won’t die if my girlfriend on the other side of the planet is with someone else or not. It’s not meant to be such a big deal. After all, the situation itself is hard enough to make it worse. Instead of thinking of getting everything or nothing, think about what lies in between.
Keep the love going and the magic intact. Be great and do what the cowards are afraid to. Because it could happen that your couple might fall in love with someone else more than with you. It happened to me in the old times and could happen again. But if you are confident about what you left to the other, it will be fine. It’s a risk worth taking.
Last, don’t be an asshole. To loosen up doesn’t mean to ignore and make fun of your partner while you are partying 24/7. That will kill your relationship. Be open, but also always be there for her. When it really matters and when she really needs it, be next to her. That is the way to keep the love going.