Routines are like training wheels on a bike. They help you from falling over and try to keep you going straight while you work on learning how to operate the bike/play the game. Then you grow out of them and your dad takes them off of your bike/you stop using canned routines and build your own. Then you need to learn how to maintain your balance with your forward momentum/calibrate and pass shit tests. You are bound to stumble a bit, but with practice, you learn to ride your bike and you never look back/get blown out, have success and get consistent.
When you begin to outgrow canned routines you need to start focusing on how to build your own. I’d like to share how I’ve come to build mine. So with that in mind for the new guys, here are some tactics for those approaching intermediate level.
Mystery talks about DHV’s (demonstrations of higher value) and using them in stories to build attraction. What I’ve done is memorize the ways to DHV and then try to hit upon those points during the story. For topics, I use something that’s actually going on in my life at the time, sometimes I use things that happened previously. For instance:
“Get this! I almost died the other night! I was with Liz and she had just picked me up at the train station, about 1 am. So we’re headed down Route 24 and we see 2 cars pulled off the side of the highway. We get right up the car and then..*3 HOLY SHIT! There’s something in the road and we’re about to hit it! …*3 There was no time to stop or even swerve, we just held on tight, right? Whatever it was gets stuck on the hood and under the car and we start fish-tailing down the highway. Then she loses control and the back of the car skids around and now we’re going off the highway backwards.*4 I see a guy off to the side and he’s trying to run out of the way! We’re going to hit him.. We hit a sign and I see the guy go flying. Now I’m like, “We just hit that fuckin’ guy!” The car comes to a stop. I check Liz,*2 she’s ok, I’m ok, we jump out and check the guy..*3 He’s ok..*4 He jumped out the way just in time.*1 We all had our backs to the on coming cars so I turned us around and moved us away from the road.*2 Well, we ended up hitting his mattress. He didn’t bother to take the navy blue sheet off so that’s why we didn’t see it in time. Liz is a 3rd degree black belt, I know she can take care of herself *2, so I run up the highway to get the license plate in case the guy decides to take off. Come back*1, call the cops*1, he comes*1, I take pictures of everything for the insurance company*1, cop calls a tow truck*1, we get pulled out of ditch*1, pay the tow guy*1. Cars fine, except for the dents and scratches where we hit the sign and where the mattress got stuck and some mud in the wheel wells. What a crazy night!”
Cool, so let’s break this down now.
This commands the attention of the group.
I almost died the other night!
Good hook line. Who doesn’t want to hear this story? Died is the key word, you stress died. I almost died the other night!
I was with Liz
I’m with a girl, it indicates preselection by women. What I’m doing with her at 1 in the morning is implied, so no need to brag about anything. That comes off as lower value.
we just held on, right?
Right? is a tag question. You can literally use this after any sentence to make sure your audience is following along. It’s good to use this if someone starts fidgeting or turns their attention elsewhere in tandem with touching them is need be. Again, you’re trying to maintain the attention of the group you’re working.
HOLY SHIT! & backwards
These are in italics to indicate that they are to be stressed. I didn’t italicize every word that I stress, but these are major attention getters and build lots of tension.
*1 – At any one of these points I can go off about that topic, or I could find a way to start a new thread. Examples:
– He jumped out of the way just in time. He told us it was the scariest few seconds of his life. The scariest few seconds of my life were….
– Come back and talk to Liz. She doesn’t know what to do. I tell her to call the cops. She does. (An example of leading a woman.)
– Call the cops. There’s never a cop around when you need one, notice that? One time I was…
– He comes. Starts yelling at the dude who had the mattress, like really tearing into him. He was about to cry. Ever seen a grown man cry? One time..
– Take pictures for the insurance company.. My buddy, he always carries a disposable camera in his glove box, right? One day he saw this accident and…
– etc, etc…
*2 – These points convey that I’m a protector of loved ones and the leader of men, two of Mystery’s 4 biggest DHV’s. Checking Liz and making sure she’s safe conveys protector of loved ones and moving everyone conveys I’m a leader.
*3 – Dramatic pauses. Play around with these. Actually, take a minute to listen to Christopher Walken read Lady Gaga’s Poker Face song and you’ll understand dramatic pauses.
The tension he builds with his pauses makes the crowd laugh. He pauses while they laugh, and delivers the next line when they stop. This happens a few times and the crowd laughs more and more.
*4 – Up until these points, you can feel the tension building in the story. Build tension and release it, it makes for better telling of your stories.
The subject of the story is the drama I went through the other night, and people love drama.. But you could also talk about social dynamics. That’s what made the line “Who lies more?” and questions about someone else’s relationships so interesting to people.
Being expressive with your body language is important too. Over-do facial expressions (all good acting is over acting, use any movie for example), make big gestures with your arms and/legs. This captures peoples attention because they pick up the feelings you are demonstrating. As I tell the almost died story, I turn around the way I when the car was spinning.
At the beginning of the article, I told you that I usually use real stories from my life. There are times when I don’t though, and those stories tend to be ridiculous, made up stories that if anyone believed, I’d probably take out my slap on bracelet from the 1990′s and slap it around their neck. So the next kind of story telling is going to teach you how to make up ridiculous and funny shit on the spot.
It usually starts with one the following guys saying something that I can feed on.
Just got a compliment on my hair from a high school girl!
I hope you did the right thing and got her number.
So I was the bar and this girl was hitting on me and she just wouldn’t leave me alone.
And you spit in her face to make her leave, right?
Yeah, but that didn’t work. She wanted me to spank her after that. She kept trying to lean over my lap.
And then you grabbed the beer tap and beat her with it.
Yeah and you know what? I beat her ’til she pissed my pants!
The next time we’re out we’re throwing all the fat, crazy chicks at Serendipitous.
Cool. I started a fat farm for crazy chicks. I’ll put ‘em in the coral with the other lazy crazies.
This technique is called YES AND… Accept whatever frame is being given to you and add onto it. This is helpful if someone tries AMOGing you.
Hey, that shirt looks like something a bull dyke would wear.
As a matter of fact, she a biker bull dyke and I kicked her ass pretty good for this shirt. Her girlfriend wasn’t too happy, but no woman would be with a beard like that. So yeah, I’m Hugh I’ve got a lesbian shirt on. Who are you?
Accept it, exaggerate on it, exaggerate on it again and then throw it away. (The full technique was taught to me by Grim, and I can also credit him with lesbian t-shirt line.) When using this technique to ward off insults, you actually take whatever joke or insult they made and you own it. You disarm the insult/joke. You own it and make it your joke. You make another joke and then you throw it away. Throwing it away keeps you from focusing on it, which ultimately lowers your value by placing more value on the object, and less value on yourself.
Another tactic is No, BUT…
Did you borrow that shirt from a bull dyke?
No, but I did fight an aardvark and a penguin for it. I don’t know how they teamed up, maybe they met at the zoo. Anyway. Hi, I’m Hugh.
So you can deny what was said and follow it up with humor, again disarming the insult.
Another technique I use for conversation is Keyword Threading. In every sentence there is a key word or two. For instance: My car needs new brakes. The key word is car. Take the word car and use it in a sentence of your own: I saw this really cool car the other day. You could also use new brakes: I went to get my brakes done once at the gay mechanic shop. I’ll tell you, I once had a conversation with a woman for an 90 minutes using this technique alone.
So to recap:
– Have a good hook line.
– Have a good topic, drama or social dynamics.
– Convey DHV’s.
– Know where/when to multi-thread.
– Use humor, dramatic pauses for effect.
– Use BIG body movements and facial expressions.
– Yes and.. on anything to make it funny.
– Use No, but… to disarm insults.
– Use Keyword Threading to keep conversations moving.
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