Physical Issue Or Confidence Issue?

Here’s a very interesting email I received…


I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 27 years old, divorced, with a son. I got married 7 years ago because my girlfriend got pregnant. DNA testing from the divorce ruled me out as being the father of my daughter. I am back in college and living with my grandparents.Physical Issue Or Confidence Issue

My biggest problem is sweating. The strong deodorants don’t work and the medication that keeps me from sweating is too expensive because it isn’t for sweating but for stomach ulcers.

I am writing you because I dig your stuff. I recently bought your book but have only read the introduction. Seriously, I have to study a lot and I am currently in summer school. I need help, and I totally dig a lot of the things that you say and your history. I like that you are an intellectual. The bottom line: I need help with my game, but I don’t want to sacrifice my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into grad school.

I talked to Neil Strauss in Chicago about how sweating has kept me out of the game, and he said to make up some story if someone asks about how I did some research and I found that men who sweat have higher levels of testosterone. That is easier said than done and hugely embarrassing.

I don’t have much money, but if you are putting on anymore workshops after you get back from traveling then I would like to know. I get so fucking depressed and I feel like a loser.

I have definitely reached that point on more than one occasion where I thought that life just wasn’t worth it. I don’t believe in God, so I know that when I die it will be over. I want to change, and I would like it if you could help me.

My Answer:

Your issue is not sweating but confidence. And I know this because I sweat like a fucking pig (it runs in the family), especially on my hands. Most girls I date have made comments about it and I tell them I’m thankful I sweat because I never need lotion, which will end up saving me “thousands of dollars” during my lifetime.

In fact I can’t wear grey shirts because of pit sweat. My nose and forehead is often sweaty and I dab with napkins whenever I get the chance. But not once have I worried that sweat is stopping me from getting laid.

In other words, your confidence issue is making it seem like sweating is keeping you out of the game when actually your mind is. There are guys that weigh over 225 pounds who are pulling regularly so you can’t convince me that mere sweat is your problem.

Ask yourself this: is it possible that there are men out there who have worse physical issues than yourself but are getting laid regularly? Your solution isn’t a workshop. You have my book which is enough to see a large improvement in the next year. Read it from front to back and approach at least ten girls a week. Forty girls a month starting tomorrow is your solution, and there is no shortcut to that. In your email you didn’t mention things you’re doing, so that tells me you haven’t even stepped in the pool yet.

Also start optimizing your look by trying different hair and beard configurations. Splurge on a new outfit that makes you feel good. And definitely hit the gym. If you don’t live near a gym or can’t afford it, develop a poor-man’s workout routine (pushups, situps, pullups with a $30 door frame bar, and running). It helps to be happy with what you see in the mirror.

In your next email to me I want to hear questions about issues you have found when approaching girls. Take action starting tomorrow.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn’t even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That’s how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang.