The easiest place to find girls is also the hardest. The reason? Well even though bars and clubs offer a dense population of single females in a small amount of space, there is a handful of things that are working against you, such as…
1. Cockblockers. You think her friends are going to let you sweep her off her feet? You’ll be lucky if you can get in a ten minute conversation before the friend pulls her away.
2. Noise. Especially in the clubs, it can be very hard to have a normal conversation with a girl. So that leaves the dance option available, but talking is the best choice to build a connection. Unless she is attracted to your look she will get bored of dancing and then go on to the next guy.
3. Alcohol. Now this is a double edged sword. On one hand it makes both you and the girl you are talking to more social, but after a certain point the girls will get so drunk so at best you will get a sloppy makeout. It will be rare a drunk girl’s friend will let you take her home (see number 1), and getting her phone number will be useless since she’ll forget about you the next day.
4. Other guys. I still haven’t found a bar that regularly has more girls than guys. Chances are you will be competing against a whole lot of desperate guys and unless you approach often you will be lost in this sea of sausage. It’s not hard to separate yourself from them if you stand out from the crowd with your own style and game, but it does mean you have to put some work into it.
5. Time. Unless you live in a large metropolitan area, the only times you can find a decent number of girls in bars or clubs is on the weekends. So that means you wait the entire week to talk to a girl for a few hour window come Friday night.
Even with all those negative, there are many guys getting laid at nightspots. Lucky for you that 90% of guys have absolutely no game. They just hold the wall up with their warm beer hoping girls talk to them. So here’s my five best tips to approach in bars and clubs:
1. Play the numbers game. When you are approaching girls in the daytime, it can happen that you get an email or number from each girl you approach, but at night the odds are stacked against you. To battle that you need to concentrate on quantity, especially until you build you game up. Don’t leave the house unless you have an intent to approach at least 10 girls, and actually count as you do your approaches.
2. Use funny openers. Funny openers work much better at night. A good one to use is to choose a celebrity you kind of look like, then go up to a group of girls and say, “Hey guys, do I look like *celebrity*.” After they answer, tell them you were wondering because the last girl you talked said you looked like him and you weren’t sure if she was serious or joking around.
3. Touch touch touch. Girls who are intoxicated are much more receptive to touching than sober girls. Take advantage of that by touching often as you pass the 10 and 15 minute mark of the conversation. Good places are her shoulder and small of her back. As you get deeper into the conversation and she responds positively, you can start touching her hands.
4. Go for the make out, not the number. It’s a fools game to go for numbers in bars because the chance she will return your first call is pretty low. In fact if 33% of your numbers call back then you are dealing very well. Okay there are exceptions. If you’ve been talking to her for hours and you have an incredible connection, then by all means go for the phone number, but in that case you should be getting the make out first. Shoot for the ceiling first, and treat the number as a backup prize.
5. Remember this is just a game. There really is no reason to hesitate approaching or experimenting in a bar or club, the last place where you should be nervous or scared about anything. If you bomb, do you really think the girls are going to remember you a day from now? Even if you get a number after talking to her for 15 minutes they might forget you! Bottom line is treat it like a game, don’t give a shit, and keep approaching girls until you are either exhausted or come home with something.