I bet that there’s ONE thing that excites YOU more than anything else.
Maybe it’s women’s feet – maybe it’s girls wearing leather pants, pantyhose or maybe it’s uniforms. It can also be some certain hair type or color, bigger or smaller girls, etc.
It’s normal – all men are especially attracted to something. Almost everyone has a fetish – almost everyone feel especially aroused when they see a particular object, clothing or body part.
This is not harmful – on the contrary, it spices up your sex life. It’s fun – as long, of course, that you keep it in control. If it gets out of hand, it can get you into trouble.
This article is meant to help you in case you follow that last case.
When Is a Fetish Dangerous?
Again, it’s common and normal to have a fetish. Even so, in some cases the fetish can become a serious or embarrassing condition. A few signals of a dangerous fetishism are:
- You think about it too much. It just makes you lose your concentration – you start performing poorly at work or school because of it.
- It comes up at random moments. Even when you’re not thinking about anything that excites you, the fetish comes to your mind.
- It’s destroying your relationship. You start to drive your partner crazy because of it – leading to arguments, discussions and even awkwardness during sex. For example, if you are crazy for women in boots, you urge your girlfriend to wear them, even if you know she doesn’t like to.
All these are very serious implications, and all demand you to act and do something about them.
Here I present you with a few solutions:
1- Get the Fetish Out of the Way
First, break away from all things that attach you to the habit. Be it porn, photos, clothing (in case you have a fetish for a certain type of clothes), etc. Get it out of the way – clear everything that will stimulate your arousal.
Having ‘easy access’ to the fetish will do nothing but to stimulate it. You don’t want that – on the contrary, you want to clear your mind, your thoughts and live the moment.
2- Control Your Thoughts
Tame your mind – nothing is worse than to keep your fetish always in mind. The more you think about your fetish, the more it will stick. Don’t feed your mind – when it more asks you for the fetish, fly away – do something else, get busy, don’t let it win.
It takes a lot of commitment, but you need to do it. It’s hard – for me, for you and for everyone with a fetish. But take a deep breath, smile and think about something else. Practice and practice and make taking the fetish thoughts out of your mind a serious, first-level decision.
3- Try Cognitive Tools
You’ll have a certain reaction in your mind and body every time you think about your fetish. Be it arousal, happiness, excitement – it’s SOMETHING, and it’s usually something that will make you think more and more about it.
You don’t want that – you want to condition your mind to think other things, and you want to have other thoughts in your mind when the fetish kicks on. It’s a bit crazy, but it’s definitely doable.
Tony Robbins usually suggests to break the thought in the moment – to interrupt the pattern immediately and channel the thoughts to something that gives you different emotions.
Slap yourself on the face – bite your finger. Something painful or displeasing would do. It doesn’t have to be all negative though – you can try with positive feelings, though the latter won’t be as effective.
4- Speak With a Professional
Sexologists or even standard psychologists could help you get rid of the fetish if all the other options fail. If you get to that point, this option might still be compelling – after all, if the problem is serious enough, trying professional help is worth it as it well could help you get over the problem.
A fetish will never completely fade – and, again, you don’t really want to go that far. What you want is to control it – to make sure that it’s you in control of the fetish, and not the fetish in control of you.