Among the Iron Laws of Game Economics is that: one way or another you’re going to spend money on getting the girl. Chances are you’re already spending serious coin on just getting face time with girls. Whether it’s outrageous cover charges or your silly t-shirt with studded angel-wings painted on the shoulder blades, passive and indirect costs can get significant when you’re systematically going out to meet girls. But setting those expenses aside (because some guys, like me, are quite good at mitigating them), you’re also going to spend money on directly dealing with girls. And, most of the time, that’s going to mean buying drinks.
It’s best to accept that buying alcohol for girls you’re trying to bang is pretty much a necessary evil. Guys will tell tales about how they didn’t spend a single dollar on a girl and slept with her anyway or, in some exceptional cases, somehow made money in the deal. (In fact, I once spent $1.37 over the course of an entire two-month relationship with a girl, not counting gas money.) But absent those cases, alcohol is often an important factor in getting a girl into bed. Alcohol loosens a girl up, makes her comfortable with you, and makes her more amenable to sex. Even if you don’t pound it that night, having drinks with her builds positive memories of having “fun” with you, which eventually leads to the bang.
Does that mean you should start throwing drinks at random chicks in hopes of getting laid? Absolutely not. In fact, that’ll produce the opposite effect. Unless you buy girls drinks the right way, in the right setting, all you’re doing is crushing money into her vagina—and losing respect in the process. I can’t count the times I’ve seen a guy in a bar buy a random girl a drink, only to get a 10-minute courtesy conversation and nothing else. Girls go to bars and clubs precisely because these venues are among the most advantageous settings for them. For a small fee (or no cost at all), girls get massive attention (something they covet as much as we covet sex), the luxury of turning down dozens of horny guys, and free drinks from chump drink-providers.
Here’s how to avoid becoming a drink-chump:
1. Buy Drinks Only for Girls That Have “Earned It”. Buying drinks for girls you don’t know, who haven’t made any kind of investment in you (e.g., going out on a date), or given you anything (like a kiss) is a sucker’s game. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to impress a girl by buying her things. If a girl has come out with you on a “date,” made out with you in the corner, or bought you a drink earlier in the night, she’s probably earned a drink from you. If a girl has the temerity to ask you for a drink, hit her with a strong wise-crack (e.g., “would you prefer the cash?”) and the rest will take care of itself.
2. “I’ll Get the First Round”. I learned this line when I was first getting into game and it remains, to this day, one of the most powerful in my arsenal. It’s best saved for pre-bang drink “dates.” It communicates two important messages: (1) I’m not a total cheap-ass who won’t buy you anything; but also (2) I’m not your free-refills drinking fountain for the night. I still crack a smile when, after the first round, a girl takes out her purse and asks me what I want.
3. The Power of Sharing Drinks. There are occasions when you’re vibing a girl at the bar, you want to keep her happily buzzed, but don’t want to ruin the interaction (and your cash flow) by buying her a drink. A solid middle-ground is offering to share a drink with her. This accomplishes several things at once: it starts to subconsciously prepare her for fluid exchange with you, it allows you to “critique” the drink together, it keeps her drinking, and it keeps you from looking like a drink provider. Not only that, you can often take turns with her on buying drinks for you to share, further escalating the effects.
As long as you follow these three guidelines, the drinks you buy will help you connect with the girl instead of the other way around.