A charismatic person is one who is a leader, who has a message to deliver and that makes others feel special around him. He makes them feel they really matter and to know that if they are with him, no matter where, they are going to have a great time. The charismatic man is also the one who bonds and impresses and who is the center of the attention anywhere he goes, voluntarily or involuntarily.
Moreover, a charismatic man knows how to speak, has ambition and determination and also has a great story to tell. He gives flavor and has overwhelming confidence in himself. He inspires others to follow their dreams and leaves something lasting inside everyone he meets.
You can be charismatic
“Tiger Woods may be the world’s most skilled golfer, but he’s also the one who practices the most.”
Now, you might be wondering how in the world you could do all that, right? But let me tell you one thing: charisma is a skill. As such, everyone can learn it, even those who you least expect to. It’s all about practice – If you want to become a charismatic man, you got to get down for some serious training. It’s a hard and long path, but there is a way, I’m sure about it. After all, think about being charismatic as if it were a muscle – the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it.
Of course, there are a few people who are naturally better than the rest. Just as some are more skilled playing the guitar or for some sports, some of these people were born already charming. But if you practice enough, you can get even better than them. You have to commit yourself to achieve this. I’ll cover in this article how you can do this.
Getting the right mindset
The first thing you have to do is to get yourself the right mindset. You need to have absolute confidence in yourself, 100% belief in you and how great you are. You have to love yourself and become someone special – someone with a big smile inside and that can withstand social pressure. Charisma, though can be learned, can’t be faked. If you don’t believe in yourself, there’s no way you could expect others to do so.
Getting into the right frequency
The right frequency is when you are energetic, happy and with a consistent rhythm. It’s that moment when you are the center of the attention, when everyone wants to hear from you and when you are giving away your belief and charisma. Being in that mood is great. But the truth is that people, including myself, can’t be in that frequency all the time. The good news, though, is that you can get at it many more times than you do now.
The key is to know yourself, in which frequency you are and how to jump from one frequency to the other. I like to identify three kinds of frequencies – green, yellow and red (think of this as a traffic light metaphor.) Green is when I’m the guy from the first paragraphs, yellow is a bit more of an easy going and neutral self and red is when I’m just another guy in a group of people, nervous and insecure.
Of course, every time I am around friends, women and people I want to meet, I want and have to be green. But one day I wake up red, some day yellow… I’m not naturally green every day, no one is. That’s why you have to learn to jump between these frequencies. The best way to do so is identifying and creating a ritual.
If I’m in the red frequency, feeling not good and in an easy-to-see bad mood, what I do is the following: I get my short pants, charge my Ipod with heavy metal or some nice audio book and go for a run. I jog for at least half hour in the street, stop to exercise a bit and then continue running for some more time. When I’m finished I make a loud shout.
Once I get back home and have a long and refreshing shower, I sit down and write about my thoughts and feelings in pen and paper while having a coffee or drink. The combination of the two makes me feel great and reborn. Usually, this helps bringing my frequency the closest possible to green. To finish the deal, I call and speak with people who are always happy to hear from me, just to see how they are doing. All this helps to bring good energy back to me and make me feel great soon afterwards. If I don’t have enough time or I am in no place to run, I still do the last two steps.
You got to identify which kind of rituals work great for yourself. You got to find a way to become green every moment you can!
Planning your encounters
“Spectacular achievements are always preceded by spectacular preparation.”
Once you have the right mindset and the correct frequency, what you got to do is to plan your encounters. Behind any great joke and every great man there is enormous preparation. Take for example Winston Churchill: he is known today a master speaker, a fantastic dinner guest and the one who always captivated everyone’s attention. What is less known, and I quote the great book Never Eat Alone, “is the blood, sweat and tears of preparation that went into the making of a single sentence of the delivery of a clever joke. Churchill realized the power of knowing his audience and knowing how to push the buttons.”
In a way, this is kind of the same the so-called Pick Up Artists do when they develop routines, patters of speech and so on. You have to take a few of these, make up some of your own, learn quotations and jokes – and calibrate the right time to deliver all of these. You need to have consistent material in yourself and ways to also show off your value every moment possible. Also, you should practice ways to remember people’s names and develop conversations that make them feel special, for instance.
Keep checking this site as there’s a lot of material helping you to do exactly this kind of things!
Go out and practice
But, even if I keep writing down about different ways you could become more charismatic, it all ends up in just one thing I already told you about: practice. Training is the key. Take what I wrote above with you and go out! Go to places where you could meet people and have a conversation with – and this, by the way, is not clubs. Go backpacking, go to live with friends, join groups about things you love, take classes about topics you always wanted to learn about. Only that way you’ll give your charisma muscle the work it needs to become stronger every time! If you got the right mindset and frequency and you are prepared as well, it will be easy for you to start making some impact. Keep growing from your success and the results will start coming.