The simple things can sometimes seem the most difficult. Talking to someone, how hard can it be? Yet everybody knows the feeling where you’re in a bar or a club, or whatever – in the supermarket, and you see someone that looks cool. If only you can say something smart, funny – anything – to start the conversation. Yet – you can’t think of anything, and well, the moment passes and another day goes by.
How great would it be to overcome this problem, this stupid approach anxiety?
Ok, I’m not going to lie to you: this is not going to be easy. But it is going to be a lot of fun. The thing that you have to keep in mind: you’re not learning anything new here. You can talk to people. You know stuff to talk about. You have stuff that interests you. And you can ask questions – where do you come from, do you like it here, etc. And you have your eyes, you can notice something!
So – keep this in mind – it’s not that you don’t know anything to talk about, it’s your mind and your anxiety telling you that your can’t think of anything. Makes you afraid to make a fool out of yourself.
To get over this barrier, I know only one way. Just walk up to someone, and say something. Don’t think about it, just say something.
And oh: you will make a fool out of yourself. I’ve said some things that made people doubt my sanity. I’ve literally had girls tell my friends that I was only talking crap (it inadvertently worked as a good wingman move). I’ve probably insulted hundreds of people in the process. But I can tell you – the method works. It turns out, usually you’ll say something that makes enough sense to start the conversation. And if not, well, either make up and apologize, or laugh about it.
At some point, you won’t even think twice about what to say to someone. I often amaze myself with the things I think of, without thinking about it. It’s fun, it’s creative, and I am as amazed as she is with the stuff that I come up with!
Hope you have a lot of fun practicing, and laughing about making a fool out of yourself.