Why do couples fight so often? Why do men and women have so many problems, everywhere in the world? With millions of possible choices I believe that the honest and only reason is simple: people just don’t choose right.
It’s simple, it’s sad but it’s also true. If people actually chose someone they really liked better as a couple most of the problems could be solved. It has to be the objective of any man and woman wishing to have an excellent relationship to choose right. Think of what you want, a perfect boy or girl, and don’t settle for less.
The big problem here is that the vast majority of people do settle for much less. Most men and women settle down and have a relationship with someone they don’t really fully like. They take whatever they can – and knowing there are many “buts” to that new relationship, they go ahead anyway.
That’s the conclusion of most of boy-meet-girls scenarios. They are both single, they both really want a partner and after a few drinks it just happens. Then, all of the sudden, sometimes almost unexpectedly they go to live together, they have babies, and live a conventional life. Fights and problems, after all, are part of a conventional life right?
But fights and problems are what you got to expect in these kinds of scenarios. The first moments in the relationship, just when you are starting to meet each other, are usually great. Your lives seem to get better, you are both happy to have each other and everything looks perfect. Yet, more and more, as time goes by, all those “buts” left behind in order not to be alone anymore start coming back stronger than ever. For example:
- She got fat.
- He is bad in bed.
- She is not caring enough.
- He goes out too much.
And more. But, in the end, wasn’t it like that before? Wasn’t he bad in bed at the beginning? Didn’t she love eating from the very start? Didn’t he go out a lot back then too? Didn’t she… The answer will always be yes. So then, why did you settle with him or her already knowing that? What a dummy.
That’s why the most common problems in relationships can be avoided. After all, you don’t get married or start to evolve into a serious relationship after two dates right?
Don’t settle for less of that you really want. Go for the best and set your standard high. I want any long term girlfriend from mine to show me love in public, be caring, to love dressing up chic, to be cultured and also to be a woman. I won’t settle for any other woman who doesn’t fall into these criteria, for that you can be sure.
It’s not easy to get women as these and most would think that finding someone that’s all they wish could be completely out of their reach. But mind, you have to be demanding, but still reasonable. I don’t date only models nor want all my girlfriends to be human encyclopedias either. But I won’t settle with someone who I don’t find hot or with one girl who can’t speak a thing about culture, history and all the things I like. It’s plain common sense!
These demands can vary in many ways. Many couples, for instance, have problems because she wants to have babies and he doesn’t (and vice versa.) But then, isn’t that stupid? Avoid the mess by making clear what you want from the very beginning. If you tell her you won’t have babies now and never in the future (not maybe, no grays,) then, if she really wants to have them she’ll know that the relationship won’t work. Problems, fights and big messes avoided. If she is looking for something else, let her be.
This is so simple, so wise… it’s what you need to do if you want to have a happy relationship. Yet few do it. Few have the guts; few have what it takes to be a strong man or woman. No one likes to go through a period of loneliness and that’s something expected if you set your standards high. It’s the downside: if you have high standards you’ll have to work twice to find that special one. Perhaps the ways you are so used to won’t work this time.
Have affairs, have short relationships and have fun. I do too, but if I’m going to start something really serious I’ll stick with what I say above. I, after all, was with many girls that didn’t follow my criteria and, to be honest, I had a great time with them. I enjoyed it and would do it again, but it wasn’t something really serious. I never promised eternal love and they knew I wouldn’t settle with them. It was for my best and for their best – as I would have not been the best boyfriend, the man I work hard to be.
It’s really hard to be cold as this – But it’s for the best. Don’t settle for less. Even if it means happiness for you now, think about the future too. And also, think deep if it wouldn’t make you much happier to be with that kind of person you really want? Absolutely, so work hard and look for that one and look it for real! Life is short, so make sure you spend it with someone you really like.
Finally, one last thing – Don’t take this superficially. Think deep and from your heart how would your perfect one be and which are the qualities you would want your couple to have. Then work for that, open yourself and look directly for someone like that. Don’t settle for less; don’t settle with the first option you can find. It’s the best for you and for that person too!