I discovered the materials of the seduction community/pick-up arts 10 years ago and I have been a student ever since. Thing is, how I have perceived this area of my life and how I have pursued it has changed dramatically over the years. This is all stuff I have talked about in prior posts, so I am not going to repeat myself.
What I want to talk about here is the idea of “gaming without game“. What do I mean by that?
Well, the seduction community’s mentality has generally been that solid “game” is to learn some psychological tricks/manipulations and then to deliver them through conversation in one way or another.
Now, in the past few years the concept of “the natural” has been introduced, but nobody has really been able to pin down the concept of being a natural other than to convey it through vague philosophies and by painting tantalizing pictures of having effortless, seamless “game” by just having a good vibe. I want to make clear that that is not what I am talking about here.
So what am I talking about when I say gaming without game?
I will describe what I mean clearly in a moment, but first I want to illustrate a few ideas.
First, I want everyone reading this to really get in touch with the real reason all of us got into learning this stuff. We each have our own goals and visions of success, but we all share the fact that we got into learning this stuff so that we could have power and choice in our dating life with women. Some guys want to find their perfect girl and marry her. Some guys want to be able to date around. Some guys just want to know that when they want a girlfriend, they can have one without it being luck.
So given that we are all learning this stuff to have great relationships with women (in one way or another), doesn’t it make sense that if something isn’t bringing wild success that we should be willing to scrap it and pursue a totally new, radically different course of action?
Beyond that, I just want to point out that all of us have seen the guys who never learned this stuff and yet they do great with women. And I know a lot of you are going to say, “Yeah, Edge, but they are doing solid game, they just don’t know it.” I agree, I am not saying that’s not the case. But usually the implied argument is that these guys had some kind of great role model or instruction or advantage (like starting from a young age or having great looks) – and then the guys say that they didn’t have those things, so they are at a disadvantage and need to learn structured game in order to “catch up” and learn to be natural and successful with women.
I see things differently. I am not going to say that it’s not true that some guys do well because they had an advantage – looks, great role models, learning from when they were young, etc. I will say that I think that EVERY guy can turn their own dating life around to be just as good if not better than those “naturals” without having to go crazy with approaching tons of women in bars, on the street, at the supermarket, etc.
A big missing piece in how game is being taught is that there is no model of game out there that talks about building what I like to call social equity. That is the idea that every time you practice game, you gain something in your social life that helps your dating life.
The present model of the pick-up arts is that you start from ground zero with each woman and you work your way up. So you walk into a room where no girl knows you and, through tricks and tactics, you manage to get the girl you want to be very interested in you. Mystery talks about positioning and presenting yourself so you appear to have pre-selection so that other women are more interested in talking to you. Even still, Mystery’s tactics are based on creating the illusion of appearing to be the interesting man that women want to talk to.
What if, instead of appearing to be the interesting/desirable man through illusion, you actually are the interesting man? If you are the interesting man, then it would logically follow that you would have the same responses that the illusion creates in women. Plus, you wouldn’t have to “start from zero” by having to create that illusion every time you meet strangers.
What I am getting at is that there are all sorts of things a guy can do to raise his stock in the dating world, but these things are looked at as peripheral to learning “game” as the so-called seduction gurus teach it. Legend and I have spent the last year developing social engineering concepts and lifestyle-improvement methods to do what I am describing here: gaming without game.