You must have heard that wise, wise idiom at least once, right? It usually is applied to everything –from jobs applications, friendships, studies and whatever path you choose for your life. And guess what – dating is not the exception.
The premise is simple: you shouldn’t put all your might and energy to work for just one outcome. In dating terms, it’s not a good idea to focus only and only on just ONE girl. It’s always a better option to have one or two others in stand-by or at least hovering around your mind.
Right now I’m single – if you could call it that way. I don’t have a real girlfriend but I’m dating this girl instead. She’s cool and I feel great around her – I really don’t need someone else. But I still always have at least a couple of girls that I could call right now and would go out with me for a drink.
These girls are never the same – they keep changing. After all, few, if any, girls will wait for you forever. As we say in Argentina, be cordial and nice with them but leave them in the freezer. The sole thought that you could go out with them immediately after a fight or break up will impact you positively.
There are two reasons behind this.
1- You’ll Be More Confident
You really will, and it will come naturally. You probably won’t speak (or not even think) about the other girls if you are in a fight or discussion. But deep in your mind, you’ll know that you have somewhere to back off if things fail. You’ll have an advantage – and you’ll make it feel.
Being sure about yourself doesn’t only mean you’ll win conflicts. Most cases, this feeling of security will make you directly avoid or take the drama out of potential conflicts.
Think about girls (and about everyone else in life) as vampires – vampires who smell weakness and will try to take advantage of it. If a girl sees you weak, she’ll try to make you concede in relationships issues, dating, etc. – it’s a process people do sometimes even unconsciously. If you are strong willed, she’ll avoid it.
2- You’ll Have a Plan B
Having a Plan B is never wrong. You won’t be a bad boyfriend or a bad person if you have other girls waiting for you. You’ll only be doing yourself a favor.
Your goal as a good boyfriend or lover is to give all your attention and love to your girlfriend. Make her feel other girls don’t exist – make her feel she’s the only one for you. It’s the same when you are dating someone.
But remember – having a Plan B is not about dating someone else. It’s about having the sure possibility of doing so if you wish to. No one could possibly think of this as cheating, right?
So, single or not, always think about multiplying your possibilities. It’s better to have choice – just for the choice itself. Not putting all your eggs (all your possibilities) in just one basket will give you this choice. Work for it.