Most times people fail is because they didn’t do enough. They didn’t work as hard as they should, didn’t plan enough or were shy, insecure, uncommitted or inconstant. But, blind to this fact, these people then give excuses.
And the truth is that few times will an outside event restrain you for achieving your objective. It has to be something really extraordinary and completely unpredictable. Few of these happen: most of the times people could have done a little bit more to make things work out.
So when you don’t get a job or get rejected by someone you like or fail at an important exam just think: Could have I done something more? Could have been possible for me to do better? Probably yes. You have to go one step beyond; you have to do what others would not. Then will you succeed where others are failing at.
The first step in that direction is to not give any more excuses. And I don’t mean giving excuses to others. Don’t give excuses to yourself! If things didn’t go as planned is YOUR fault and it’s your duty to find out why. Assume the responsibility, accept your failure and blame yourself as much as you have to.
Then focus on how you will make these failures be a part of the past. Learn from your mistakes and never repeat them again. Become someone better, understand these failures and don’t let them hunt you down in the future. After all, no one is perfect. But make sure you are the best you can.
Say, for example, that you failed an exam because it was too hard. I bet it was. But did others pass? If they did, then it was doable. What happened is that you didn’t study enough. Of course it was hard, but don’t make your failure be a consequence of the exam. After all, someone did pass… So you surely could have done better.
Perhaps you failed at a very important job interview. But were you perfectly dressed, was your pitch smooth and did you answer all the questions? It could happen that you were outstanding, but so were other men who got the job instead. Most of the times you can be better than the rest. Did you practice enough? Are you sure?
And, last, did the girl from your dreams reject you? You lost a tennis match? You were late? Most times could have done better. Just don’t give excuses and focus on working harder, on being remarkable.
Assuming failure is one step to maturity and a bigger one in your road to success. If you build yourself stronger after failure and make sure those mistakes don’t repeat you’ll be on the right track. Little by little failure will be less and less common in your life.