Domination vs. Holding Court

Lately I’ve been thinking about a lot of the ideas and the “culture” of the so-called seduction community and I’ve decided I’m going to start sharing my impressions.

There’s an extent to which the community believes that you need to “dominate” an interaction. I don’t believe this is true (as a general rule). Whether it be plowing through resistance, calling the woman on her bullshit or negging her to “knock-down her value”, there’s an underlying theme of the “pick-up artist” to be unwilling to be vulnerable.

Notice I’m talking about unwillingness, not lack of action to be vulnerable. I’m not recommending you should blindly make yourself vulnerable as some kind of technique or tactic for the sake of doing it. But I am saying that if you really want people to open up to you in any way, you have to be willing to open yourself to them as well. You have to shed that internal bracing of yourself against “taking a hit”.

As they say (in leading), you go first. And that openness that you want to demonstrate and have them follow is willingness to be vulnerable.

I know all the technique, but when I’m out there talking to people, I don’t look at it like dominating an interaction. I look at it like holding court: I’m creating a space for an exciting, fun, silly, sexy, unusual interaction to take place. I’m a “master of ceremonies” of sorts.

So (at best) my energy and “leadership” is flowing through the whole interaction, but it’s not through pressing down all my weight on them to the point of suffocation/submission. It’s through exciting them, while being present enough to them so they feel they can safely play.

What are your thoughts on really great interactions with groups or with women one-on-one? What do you consider to be the dynamic when things are really flowing?