One of the most common dilemmas in relationship is age. Does it matter? It is possible to build a healthy relationship if the age difference between partners is too big? There is no concrete answer: it depends on the couple.
It depends because age is subjective. Quoting Indiana Jones, it’s not age what matters: it’s the mileage. It makes sense from any side you look at it, with mileage meaning experiences, successes and failures and maturity in general.
With that said, one twenty-something year old man can be more mature and a better partner to a thirty-year old woman than one her age. It happens more often than you might imagine.
Most of my girlfriends have been older than me. Perhaps not by that much: but at least by one or two years. Few times did I have relationships with girls younger than me. And guess what: the better and longer-lasting ones have been with the older girls.
It may not sound too normal, but if you consider the whole situation it makes a lot of sense. When I was 21 I had already traveled almost all of Europe, lived by myself for a long while, worked for another bit and was just shy of getting my diploma in business. It is not common. Most of guys I know back home have not lived even now half of what I did.
It is natural, then, with all those experiences in my back to be more attractive to girls than most guys of my age. And it’s also cool in one special way: I got the best of the young guys plus the maturity of the older ones. Which girl doesn’t like that? It makes it all look perfect.
The perfect couple is the one you have a deep connection with. And it’s impossible to share a deep connection if there is a big difference in maturity. I could never be with a girl who doesn’t understand what I did, why I did it or who can’t speak about many topics I like. The same with happen to you: you’ll feel there’s something that it is not right.
Think about it this way: there are two men of the same age. One, though, is in university, doesn’t drive and never had a serious relationship with a woman. The other, instead, lived in three countries, worked here and there and has had a considerable number of romances. Are they the same? Does age matter in this comparison?
Absolutely not. There’s nothing wrong with the first guy: it may well be the norm for men of his age. He will probably find attractive girls in the same situation as he is, or who are perhaps a step behind. And in that situation, the second guy will find girls his age not really appealing. He will look for girls who are in the same sync as he is and they will, in most cases, be slightly older.
The Best-of-the-World Option
Either way, the best couple will be the one in which both partners are deeply connected, equal in mileage but also about the same age. For much I enjoy older girls, I am sure that I will enjoy even more a girl my age who has had the roughly an equal amount of experience as mine.
That is the real deal and what everyone should look for. But, again, it’s not easy. It’s hard to find this person, especially if you are someone who has lived and experienced more (or less) than people of your age.
But it is not the only option. If you can’t find this special person for the moment, be willing to try out something else. You’ll find that a relationship with someone years older (or younger) than you could be more natural and fulfilling that with someone your age. Don’t worry what others will think: just go ahead.