1. Stop Leaning In
This is the number one problem I see guys do, especially in the first 30 minutes of talking to a girl. They don’t realize that by bending over they are saying, “God I’m so happy to be talking to you right now.” Or in a bar they talk right next to the girl’s ear when it isn’t even loud. The last thing you want a girl to know is that you are excited to be talking to her because it sends the signal you are inexperienced, don’t have success with girls, and ultimately, have low value. Lean back instead and let her be the one to come into you, and if you create the least bit of interest she will.
2. Stop Asking For Permission
Can we dance? Can I have your number? Can I kiss you? Because guys don’t know what it’s like when someone asks for permission to escalate intimacy, they don’t realize how lame it is for them to do so. Asking for permission introduces an awkward moment where the girl’s brain floods with reasons not to do what you are asking to. Plus you make it seem like you are scared of getting rejected, a quality not attractive to most women. Instead of asking, just do it and see what happens.
3. Memorize One Excellent, Breezy Story
When you first start talking to a girl, she has no idea who you are. If you talked to her because she is cute, chances are she gets talked to by a lot of guys. Separate yourself from the pack early on by telling her a story that hits on many of your positive qualities, such as your confidence, athleticism, sense of adventure, intelligence, humor, wit, story-telling ability, and so on. Because girls read between the lines, the story will not just be a story—it will be a representation of you that does not come across as bragging.
To pull this off, when you are in conversation and it is clear you have her attention, say, “That reminds me of when….” and then begin your story. I like going into stories about travel now, but before that was gym stories, where for instance I would tell girls the very true account of how one particularly gay guy stalked me in the gym and grabbed my hand while I was naked in the shower. If you are not confident of your story-telling abilities, understand that the best way to be good at telling stories is to expose yourself to good stories.
4. Stop Using The Word “Hot” To Describe Women
Have you noticed how easy it seems to attract girls who you are not that attracted to? Since you think of hot girls as so much more valuable than mediocre ones, you are more likely to behave in a way that makes it clear to her that she is indeed too valuable for you, without even realizing what you’re doing. This is the phenomenon where bad, needy game “leaks” out as a result of your thoughts, without conscious effort on your part. If you want to get physical with hot girls, you need to master your thinking of them first. From here on out, no girl is hot, and there are no tens. She’s either “cute” or “alright.” Don’t be that guy who falls captive to every girl he sees. Instead, trick your mind into lowering her value so that your game towards her is tighter.
5. Get Rejected Immediately!
Go up to a cute girl you don’t know in the next day and start a conversation with what you already know as a man. Make up an opener or just ask how she’s doing. Chances are she will end the conversation in a polite manner, typical of the “rejections” you will face. It may sting that this girl made it clear she doesn’t want to have nothing to do with you, but realize that the only way to perfect your game is to interact like this with a couple hundred girls. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY! This means you will have to branch out from your school, work, or social circle comfort zones. Accept that 99% of girls on this Earth do not ever want to have sex with you, get over it, and keep going until you find the ones that do.
6. Take Your Hands Out Of Your Pockets
Take your hands of your pockets. If you are at a bar looking like you are bored, resigning yourself to standing around and staring at the TV, don’t expect to get a positive response if you approach a girl. She notices what you do before you walk up to her, and if you seem like a buzzkill, she will be less likely to talk to you. While you don’t have to jump off the wall and be that annoying guy who talks loud and high-fives everyone, don’t stand around looking like someone just stood you up. Interact with your friends or the bartender. Not only will staying in an active, talkative state help you when you finally do approach, it makes it much more likely that you even will.
7. Stop Giving Direct Answers
Evade her questions with humor or counter-questions instead, withholding for as long as reasonably possible the answers to her questions. Not only does this show you aren’t trying to impress her, but it also makes her think you are hiding something. This shady vibe will keep the conversation going and make her curious about what is hiding behind the box. You immediately stand out because most men try to appease a girl by immediately answering questions in the hopes she will like him. By doing the opposite, she sticks around to figure out who the hell you are (or think you are), but by then it will be too late—your fish hook is in her and you can run deeper material with her full attention.